Life constantly requires us to give other people some hugely awkward messages: that we don't love them anymore; that we do love them (though we're not meant to); that they smell a bit; that they're fired; that we're furious with them (though we adore them) or that their music is too loud... With twenty case studies drawn from relationships, friendships, work, families and service situations, this book shows what we might - in an ideal world - find ourselves saying to make our intentions known while causing minimal harm.